Chemotherapy, a journey down the rabbit hole
The night before my first chemotherapy session, I was overwhelmed with fear and anxiety. Sleep was elusive as the word "chemo" terrified me just as much as "cancer" did. The uncertainty of how my body would react was unsettling, everyone experiences chemotherapy differently. To calm my nerves and help me get some rest, my husband took me on a late-night walk after I had finished packing my hospital bag.
My chemotherapy treatment plan consisted of four biweekly cycles of Epirubicin Cyclophosphamide - EC (aka the red devil), followed by four additional biweekly cycles of a different chemotherapy drug called Paclitaxel. Upon arriving at the chemotherapy suite at Sussex Cancer Centre, I underwent routine checks; weight, blood pressure, and oxygen levels. Next, I followed my own routine: I’d quickly step into the bathroom before being hooked up to the scalp cooling and drip machine then wrap the hospital electric blanket around my arm and shoulder for added comfort before diving into my book. The nurses at the chemotherapy suite were just amazing, truly angels walking among us, doing their work supporting and reassuring the patients with empathy and smiles.
During my first cycle, the nurse slowly administered the EC chemotherapy through a cannula (a small tube which is put into a vein in the back of my hand). That was inserted into my right hand at the beginning of each treatment and removed after the chemotherapy had been given and the treatment ended.
I found comfort in having medical professionals nearby in case of any reaction. It wasn’t painful going in, but I could taste it - an odd metallic flavour. After that, I made sure to bring strong-flavoured snacks to mask the taste. My brother accompanied me, and we played cards to help pass the time.
By my second cycle, the EC chemotherapy caused inflammation in my vein, leading to painful blood clots in my right forearm. Before my third cycle, I had a PICC line fitted under local anaesthetic, making the process much easier.
The PICC line allowed medication to be administered directly into my bloodstream and facilitated blood draws without repeated needle insertions, reducing the risk of nerve damage. Since I had undergone full left axillary lymph node clearance, avoiding Lymphedema in my left arm was crucial. When not in use, the PICC line needed weekly flushing to prevent blockages, and I had to wear a waterproof cover during showers to keep it dry.
Initially, chemotherapy wasn’t too overwhelming - I stayed active, ate well, and had only a few rough days per cycle. Over time, a pattern emerged: Days 3 to 5 were the hardest, but then I would gradually regain strength until the next session. However, by the third cycle, side effects started to take a toll. I developed oral thrush, my sense of taste changed, and I started avoiding foods I once loved; coffee, chocolate, chicken, and meat all became unbearable. This led me to adopt a pescatarian diet.
The steroid, which I needed to take to reduce the allergic reactions to the chemo, gave me stomach pain, indigestion problems and constipation. I used to have steroids with every chemo cycle, right before I’m given my chemo infusion and even for three days afterwards to give me energy and reduce the allergic reaction to the chemo. In the first couple of days after each infusion, it gave me lots of energy but also made me very irritable and vulnerable to mood swings. After I stopped taking them, I felt knackered for a few days later and struggled to get out of bed.
One of the most surprising aspects of chemotherapy was the sheer number of medications I had to take, something I had never experienced before. For someone that had barely taken a paracetamol before this, I was on steroids, anti nausea and anti constipation meds, G-CSF daily injections to boost my bone marrow to produce more blood cells, codeine to help with the joints pain, eye drops for my dry and itchy eyes and essential oils remedy for my grey and brittle nails.
Since chemotherapy affects everyone differently, I tracked my side effects in a hospital journal. This helped me anticipate when symptoms would hit, allowing me to plan enjoyable activities with family and friends on my good days and rest when needed.
I also found it very helpful to share my side effects with the other cancer patients with me on the chemo suite and in my MacMillan cancer support group. It was helpful to know that others were experiencing similar aches and pains symptoms, and that this was something we were all able to relate to. Also since the reaction to the drugs we were on were often very similar, it was useful to share helpful treatments, products, coping mechanisms and complementary therapies which were effective in combating these side effects of cancer treatments.
I encourage anyone going through cancer treatment to take advantage of the support available through cancer charities. They offer resources to help with hair loss, emotional well-being, and social connections. Remember, you are not alone in this journey. Stay positive, plan uplifting activities for your good days, and remind yourself that even on the toughest days, better ones are just around the corner.